eyes sweating

I haven't cried in a long time.
I cried last night as I read an email from my old pastor who's beautiful wife is fighting cancer. She is faithfully loving her husband and God in the midst of her pain. Beauty from pain. I love this woman and need to make the drive to visit her. her faith has encouraged me. to go through chemo and still be so lovely.
Toni's "tears are the sweet tears of a godly, trusting, child of God who has things to say that just can't be said with just words."
I had tears again this morning. For the children around the world without forever families. That has allowed me to be a part of something that is changing eternity for children. that I see daily parents walking out in faith that they will love the "unloveable, damaged children that are in the backyards of our lives" These heros are screamed at, bite, kicked, scratched, told they will never be loved by their child. These heros in my life make me realize the past year hasn't been so bad. They give up there retirement, the last names, their "perfect family"-which there is no such thing to give a child a chance for healing. One hero said that she praises God to have a phone call from her son when he is in jail because it is the safest place for him. I loved that another mom was honest and said it suck to not have enough sleep... being a parent is so hard.
I went to the Titanic exhibit today, I teared up at so many lives lost.
My parents leave again on tuesday, how do you respond without tears when you only see them 1-2 times a year. and your family hasn't been together - all of them in the same room for years and years! You get used to it, but I don't want to be calloused... I had tears leaving Megan in Botswana. She has become my dear friend no longer just the big sister.
maybe I'll start blogging more.. maybe I won't. Tonight I did.